It was my distinct privilege to serve as host and M.C. for a second time on The HIV Cruise Retreat, the labor of love by openly HIV positive travel agent Paul Stalbaum of Cruise Designs Travel. Paul has become the go-to man for gay travel groups – in addition to the HIV cruise he organizes a gay cruise and even a gay bear cruise – and he says without question that the HIV cruise is nearest and dearest to him.

 For years, the subject of masturbation has always been a taboo. There has been many myths on the ‘physical harm’ masturbation can have on a person. But it’s only the worry, shame and all the conflicting emotions attached to the act that make people shy away from sexually stimulating themselves.

Strong negative messages play a role

Messages conveyed by others and the general perception on masturbation plays a massive role in the way most people perceive the act. One may not personally feel the same way but it’ll always be at the back of their minds and eventually it’ll eat away at most people who will seek other ways, sometimes physically harmful, to pull away from masturbating.

“People don’t leave because they can’t support their partner anymore, it’s not even because of the disease,” says Sivuyisiwe. “Often enough, they leave because that person becomes unbearable to live with, especially when it comes to self pity.” Seek help from support groups or even a qualified counsellor for your own well-being as well as for your partner and prospective relationship(s).Depending on the type of relationship you have, and if your partner decides to continue the relationship, it is vital that you practice safer sex, by using condoms and ensuring that your spouse is tested every six months.

Lastly, and most importantly, have your partner tested as soon as possible, “it would be the honourable thing to do,’ says Sivuyisiwe who also thinks that “there’s nothing worse than crying on your own.” Support them as you normally would through anything that might have frightened them, and remember that your partner is also taking a big step in their own lives.

When you suspect you might have contracted a sexually transmitted disease (STD), the scariest thing to do is pull your courage together and have yourself tested. When you don’t know what to expect, the thought becomes a whole lot scarier and considering we all have the potential to scream like a little girl when faced with the unknown, we thought we’d give you an extra dose of testosterone and answer your most frequently asked questions.

Being affected by a serious disease has more than just physical effects