To help their children, parents can learn how to speak so their children will listen. They can learn to appreciate and support their children instead of reprimanding them. They can show them that they have time to consider their options and as loving and caring parents, help them make healthy decisions. They can take advantage of both and be a part of the lucky generation who listens, learns and loves wisely.

Statistics released by the Reproductive Health Research Unit in 2003, show that 17-18 year-olds account for 55% of all teen pregnancies in South Africa, and that 90% of people infected with HIV in Sub-Saharan Africa are between the ages of 10 and 19.
What’s even more surprising is that teens don’t regard condoms and contraceptives as importantly as they should, not for lack of education but because they fear that their family and even friends will find out. 80-90% of the time some form of alcohol or substance abuse is present and the teens would then participate in unprotected sex because it was ‘the spur of the moment’ or something that ‘just happened’.

And yet, Mr. Felix says, “These days, it’s not productive to read something on a page, it just goes in one ear and out the other…show them videos… show it like it is because these days, the kids don’t scare easily until they go through it. So you have to show them the facts, that this is what is going to happen to you if you do this.”

According to Mr. Felix, parents are slowly pushing their kids away, because they don’t broach these subjects with their kids from a young age, and so it seems to the child that it’s a taboo topic that should be avoided.
“They ask, ‛sir, I’m feeling this feeling, this is happening...”, says Mr. Felix. “Some kids don’t even know what a wet dream is, what the process is that they are going through… you must explain it to them because their parents don’t. That’s where the teachers come in.”

At Blaauwbergrant where the students have tight-knit relationships with their teachers and vice versa, Mr. Felix  says the students mainly confide in their teachers “because it’s someone that they can trust and they try to associate more with people of their own age, and we understand the situation and they especially like the confidentiality clause.”
Christobel Nyoni, the Student & HIV/AIDS Counselor at Blaauwbergrant High School says a lot of kids come from broken families where there is no relationship between the child and the rest of the family. They then turn to their friends and their teachers for advice and guidance.
Many teens feel that their parents are simply a ‘no-go zone’, so they turn to other people they are comfortable with and trust. A student at Blaauwbergrant commented that she would rather speak to her older siblings because “they are not that strict and they take the situation more easily. They might also find a way to explain these things to me in a caring way so that I won’t feel unwanted,” she says.

Many parents think that if they discuss these matters with their teens, they are giving the green light for their sons or daughters to go out and engage in sexual activities. Ashley Felix, Head of the Life Orientation Department at Blaauwbergrant High School says “some of the parents are old school, they want to raise their kids in the same way that they were raised back then… Back then, we never spoke to our parents about HIV… because why would you want to speak about sex, that must mean you are having sex or are wanting to have sex?”
The truth is that most parents want to help their kids make smart decisions about sex and their well-being. They know it is vital for teens to have accurate information and sound advice to aid their decision-making process, yet even parents today are scared to talk to their teens.
Even though it’s a common topic about life itself and something everyone will experience at some point in their lives, children are still brought up to believe that sex, HIV/AIDS and STD’s are taboo topics, leaving many teens feeling that they have no-one to talk to.
Surprisingly about 83% of kids between the ages of 11 and 18 in South Africa are afraid to broach the topic with their parents, according to a National HIV and Sexual Behaviour Survey in 2003. Even more alarming is the fact that more kids have never had ‘the talk’ with their parents.


Even though it’s a common topic about life itself and something everyone will experience at some point in their lives, children are still brought up to believe that sex, HIV/AIDS and STD’s are taboo topics, leaving many teens feeling that they have no-one to talk to.
Surprisingly about 83% of kids between the ages of 11 and 18 in South Africa are afraid to broach the topic with their parents, according to a National HIV and Sexual Behaviour Survey in 2003. Even more alarming is the fact that more kids have never had ‘the talk’ with their parents.
Most teens think that talking to their parents about anything related to sex is just one of those things you classify as impossible. “My parents would kill me”, “my father would chase me out the house”, “I don’t want to talk to them about it, I don’t want them to go into detail about how I was made!”
How teens feel about ‘the talk’ and how they cope with their inquiring minds
Not my parents!

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